St. George

We had a crazy, busy, fun month of May. I finished up my cancer treatment the end of April (you can read more about it on my cancer blog). We've been enjoying the in-between time for lots of fun.

At the beginning of May, we went to St. George for a few days with my family. Holy cow! It was so nice down there, Dallas and I are already planning to retire down there :)
We celebrated Mother's Day and my sister's birthday in St. George. It was so fun!

 The house we were staying at had an awesome park, splash park, and pool attached.

My cute nephew "Paps" and I

Zion's National Park

Oaklie and I looking stylin' in our sunglasses.

Amaya and her Nana

Dallas and Kory with the kiddos

I just love this picture! Thanks Hailey for being on the ball about taking pictures :)

I can't figure out how to get our pictures back in order, but this is Amaya passed out on our ride down to St. George.

Oaklie loved the splash park! She kept kicking her legs and saying "Mo! Mo!"

More pictures from Zion's

Enjoying a nice lunch after a long day.

Back at the pool.

I married him for his fashion sense.

I can't wait to get these little nerds in swim lessons this summer!

Gotta love these Daddy's Girls!

Thanks Mom and Dad for an awesome trip!

March and April

These two are like two peas in a pod :)

Back in March, Amaya and Oaklie got new big girl beds. The mattresses came before the bunk beds were ready, so they stayed on the floor for a couple of weeks. As you can see, Amaya took to her bed like a fish to dry land :) It took awhile, but eventually she figured it out.

She was pretty excited when we got the bunk beds up and loves sleeping on the top bunk of her big girl bed! Thank again Tyson and Meagan :) Oaklie gets bumped out of her crib and onto the bottom bunk when I'm done with all my cancer treatment.

Working out on Dad's pull-up bar.

This picture made me laugh. I went in to check on Amaya one night and her baby (AbbyJo) was sleeping on a pillow with a blanket next to her mommy.

We made the rounds on family Easter egg hunts, and the girls became quite the champs.

Oaklie loved finding the eggs, but half the time she would put them in other people's baskets.

I was pretty sick all through Easter, so I didn't have much fun, but everyone else took great care of the girls and Dallas made sure they had a fun Easter. :)

A couple of weeks ago we got some amazing news! Dallas graduated from BYU-Idaho with his bachelor's degree and we got word he was accepted as an officer in the Active Duty Army! He leaves this fall for Officer Candidacy School in Georgia and after 4 months of training Dallas will be Lieutenant Abrams and we will be a family full of military brats :) It's nerve wracking, but we're excited to find out where we'll be living and the adventures we'll have coming our way the next few years. Thankfully, Dallas was able to find a full-time job working at Rexburg Motor Sports which will keep him busy until it's time to head off to training.  

Tony (Dallas' dad) and I received our associate's degrees this semester and Dallas was nice enough to allow us to share the limelight with him for the day :)

We didn't get a picture with everyone, but we got a good chunk of the crew.

Ok, now I don't want to brag too much but my husband seriously amazes me! At 26 he has served two tours to Iraq, a two-year mission, has a wife with cancer and two children, and is a college graduate. It has been a long road full of delays, but I am so amazingly proud of all that he has accomplished. He tackles everything in life with determination, obedience, and patience. Dallas has such a tremendous amount of diligence it blows my mind; whether it is school work, military assignment, church callings, relationships, whatever he sets his mind to he finds a way to accomplish. I love you Dallas! Thank you for being such a great example to me and our children.

And a bonus picture of our nerds with their Easter baskets.

If you don't follow my cancer blog, I am officially a baldy now. Or, to quote what my husband said after he shaved my head, "Welcome to the Army." You can read more about that here.

Crazy Girls

I started this post last weekend, after they found my tumor but before it was diagnosed as cancerous. I wanted to finish it. One of my biggest worries about having cancer is that my husband and children will be neglected. I know once I am on chemotherapy I won't be able to do everything for them that I am doing now, I know they will need to make great sacrifices, I just hope they understand the greater purpose we are all working towards. I have every intention of being in the temple for every single one of my grandchildren's marriages. At 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 they've gone through more trials that I did the first 2 decades of my life. I don't know why two such beautiful little girls have to go through such hard times, hard times they don't understand, but watching them while Dallas was deployed and since he's come home taught me something--they are stronger than I wish they ever had to be. I don't know why God blessed me with such amazing girls, but they lift me up and make me a better person every day.

The older Amaya and Oaklie get, the more fun they are. They love playing together and seem to become better friends every day. Amaya is always watching out for his sister and is always reminding me, "For Okee too!" whenever I get her something.

The other day, I was putting some medicine on a bump on my shoulder and I heard a little helium voice behind me say, "That's giscusging." (disgusting). I about died laughing!

 A couple of weeks ago she found her Disney princess dress in the closet and asked me to help her put it on. Once she was dressed, I sent her downstairs to show Dallas. A couple of minutes later she walked back into the bedroom like she was the Queen of England. She did a little sashay and bragged, "Mommy, I look dorky. I look dorky Mommy." I laughed so hard! It was obvious she had no idea what dorky meant.

The little goobers that get in her eyes when she wakes up I call sleeper bugs. Now Amaya will come up to me and say, "Mommy! There's a ladybug in my eye!"

I think Amaya might grow up to be the Relief Society General President one day. She played Primary with her cousins a few weeks ago and now it's one of her favorite things to play at home. She sits on the piano bench to sing and play the opening song. Then she kneels down and says the opening prayer. Then she stand up to give the "Blesson" (lesson). This morning while I was getting ready for church, she got into the bathroom drawer and pulled out two of my curling irons--one for her and one for Oaklie. She held one up to her mouth like a microphone and said, "Good mooring brovers and sissers." That one is Relief Society material. She was trying to get Oaklie to talk into hers and said, "Oaklie! Say, 'I'm Okee, I'm one!'"

Oaklie is so funny. I love that she doesn't let anyone else tell her who to be, she is 100% unique. Every morning she wakes up and she puts on her boots and her coat, and a hat if she can find one. She is going to be so sad when summer gets here.

Oaklie knows how to say about 25 words. Some of her favorites are "Mom, Dad, Sis, Dis (this), Dat (that), Coat, Boos (boots), eyes, and mow (more)." If she doesn't know the name of something, she just points at it and says, "Dis." Oaklie is a smart little one. She understands everything that everyone says and is such and obedient little girl. She loves to help with chores and is the master of starting the dishwasher.

Next week Oaklie goes into nursery. I'm excited for her and I know she will have a blast, but I'm a little bit worried about myself. It's been more than 2 1/2 years since I've gone to  Sunday School and Relief Society without a baby on my lap. Oaklie was my little buddy all of those months when Dallas was in Iraq. Dallas will probably be gone this summer for 4 months or so, and I'm not going to have a buddy to get me through the last 2 meetings at church.

Oaklie is a very good girl, but she's also a mischievous one. She loves flushing the toilet. We have had 3 brand new rolls of Charmin that Oaklie has sacrificed to the toilet god in the last week. She has dumped out the bathroom trash into the toilet and tried to flush it a few times as well.

Her newest naughty trick is to take all of her clothes off during her nap and at bedtime and then poop and pee in her crib. I thought Amaya's stripping herself down stage was bad, but she had nothing on Oaklie. I have yet to put a piece of clothing on Oaklie that she hasn't figured out how to take off. Last night about 10:30 Oaklie started crying. I went in to check on her and she was COVERED in dried-on poop. It was disgusting and was a nightmare to clean up. Dallas and I think it was the perfect cherry on top of our crappy week. Haha.

 Poop and all, Dallas and I love our little girls to pieces.

Elder Russell M. Nelson came to our stake conference today. Listening to him speak, it was amazing to see the love he had for little children. He said that there were children in the audience who had been waving to him during the meeting, and when he spoke he asked all of the Primary aged children to stand up on their chairs and wave to him so he could see them. Amaya thought that was so neat. Then he asked the Primary children to sing, "I Am a Child of God." The Spirit in the meeting was so strong. It was obvious that Heavenly Father loved those little ones so much. 

This is one of my favorite lullabies to sing to the girls at bedtime:

In the sunlight or the rain,
brightest night or darkest day,
I'll always feel the same way.
Whatever road you may be on
know you're never too far gone.
My love is there, wherever you may be.
Just remember that you'll always be my baby. 

Blog Junk

Rather than clogging up our family blog with a bunch of cancer crap, I created a separate blog to focus on my journey with cancer. It is www.atimetofight.blogspot.com. I'll keep this blog for family pictures, stories, etc. Hope you will read both!
Carissa

Bear Hugs

Have you ever gotten a big bear hug? 

This is seriously the cheesiest picture ever but I think it illustrates the point.

When I was little I remember running up to my dad and he would give me the biggest, tightest hug. It's a very good feeling, but it's also kind of overwhelming because your arms are pinned down and you can't breathe. Even with the slightly claustrophobic, lung crushing feelings; no matter what, you just feel so loved. The last few days I feel like I have gotten the biggest tightest bear hug from gobs of people who care about us. It's the most comforting, overwhelming feeling I think I've ever had. I'm still working on texting/emailing/calling everyone back, I just wanted to let everyone know how much I love and appreciate their love. If I haven't gotten back to you, it's not because I don't want to talk to you. Things have just been kind of crazy at our house. I'm kind of a pain in the butt, opinionated, open-mouth-insert-foot kind of person, but I think I must have done something right in my life to be surrounded by so many wonderful people. I'm grateful for every one of you, more than you could ever know. 

Today we got the pathology results back. It's officially rectal cancer. Yes, not the most glamourous cancer. I think the average person diagnosed is like a 75 years old smoker. There's no cute pink merchandise associated with it like breast cancer's "save the boobies" bracelets and what not. We have an appointment with the oncologist next week and we will hopefully have a few more answers after that. In the meantime we get to, guess what...hold tight and wait. 

Dallas and the girls are doing great. I am married to the most supportive, loving, strong man. He has been so kind, so willing to pick up the extra slack, and willing to lay awake until 3 am(!) just listening to me ramble about my worries, concerns, etc. I've been in a foul mood today and he is the kind of person who will lovingly tell me like it is, which is exactly what I need. Amaya and Oaklie are doing really good. It's no fun when Mom is sick and not feeling up to doing a whole lot, but they have been great, all things considered. Amaya has been praying for my "big owie cancer" to get better. The other day I was in a lot of pain and she climbed up on my lap and said, "I hold you Mom, ok? And you feel better. It's okay." Oaklie is the funniest and happiest little girl. She has been giving me lots of extra kisses and hugs lately and seems to understand that sometimes I really need her to just sit on my lap and snuggle with me. Amaya and Oaklie are amazing little people, I know we are going to get through this trial together.  

I was planning on posting about all the lessons we have learned so far, wonderful tender mercies we have had, etc. but it's late and I think I'd rather spend the rest of the night snuggled up on the couch with Dallas, so I'll save that post for another day. I'll just close with the hymn we sang in Sacrament Meeting on Sunday. It's all so good I included all of the verses, but 3 and 4 especially spoke to me this week.

1. How firm a foundation ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in his excellent word;
What more can he say than to you he hath said?
You, who unto Jesus, for refuge have fled.

2. In ev'ry condition - in sickness in health,
In poverty's vale, or abounding in wealth,
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

3. “Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed!
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

4. “When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

5. “When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace all-sufficient shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design,
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

6. “E'en down to old age, all my people shall prove
My sov'reign eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when grey hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in my bosom be borne.

7. “The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose,
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes:
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never - no, never, no, never forsake!”